C’est la vie

King James  Music Illustration  presented by M.I Abaga

King James Music Illustration presented by M.I Abaga

A tribute to my Late father, Olatubosun Iyiola Theophilus Onigbinde 

“Your father is dead”

”Your father is dead” my mother emphasized in a certain random discussion.

Not because she thinks I have forgotten with the  pace that I carried on with life but she says this to punctuate my thinking restating that the exit of our patriarch is forever.

If only we take time to really think through the cycle of life,  how we enter and exit, how we span this surface and how everything is finally retold in history,  maybe we would tread carefully and carry an humane spirit on the glaring vanity of life.  When the spirit soars into other realm, what’s truly left is the bony skeleton, the type I peered at in the Kigali Memorial yesterday.

I dreaded those moments when death knocks around. When it takes no bribe nor seeks patience to put all in order. When it did on May 14, 2014, it was grief,  it was open memory and it was pain.  I remember how hard I tried not to cry but still grieve in my reality that we once fathered, are now “fatherless”.

When he bought his mobile phone, we marveled at pie family prize. So proud of it, we crammed the numbers – 0-8-0-3-3-7-7-1-4-9-1. If you called him, it was a sure bet, he would call back. Thats why till his death he was not on my “friends and family” list, because there was no need to call him. All he needed is a ‘flash”. This is memory that makes one grieve more. That number has ceased to call me and I dont even ‘flash’ it. He cared less when I was leaving the bank,  truly believing I will be fine.  He knew the pains of being a banker,  so much gloss, less substance. He believed in God’s working in me.

He was put in the box.  His body in a box. My own father,  clad in white and looked he was having a nap.  This was an eternal sleep with the breath gone and we witnessed the frame fed to the dust.

My father taught me two quick  things ( I will figure out the rest later) – Responsibility and Sacrifice. To what one expected him to do as a father,  he did not stumble nor give  excuses. He stood when he was supposed to stand and gave his best to me and his family with all life offered him.

My life, those of my siblings and everyone he met on the stairs of life is a testimony. This takes his lessons  to me into context. This is of giving his life,  space, time and resources to whoever met him on the stairs of life.  How do I dare to be different when I am cut from his cut,  sired from his seed? I am trying my best to live in that span of sacrifice.

I know today runs emotions in the spine again.  I know how it feels like every marriage anniversary,  every birthday  of his (November 4) and every day he will be expected to grace and fulfil his role as a father.  I know how he tells of S. L Akintola and many stories of his time. It is life with its basket of lessons and if we truly punctuate enough,  we will live a more glorious one.

Here is a tribute to the man I respected despite his failings but left no one in doubt of his humane spirit.  My soul and spirit will forever miss him.  With God’s help, I will do my best to care for those he loved and tried his best to live for – his wife and his children.

God rest his soul and grant him bliss on the glorious side. I have to call my Mum because I know she takes another day to grieve.

Such is life – C’est la vie.

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3 Things I Unlearned

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1. Be Your Own Boss

Honestly, whoever told you that you should leave your “9 to 5” job and become your boss, lied. We have these “invite-bait” events with large headline “QUIT YOUR JOB, BE YOUR BOSS”. Let me tell you that entrepreneurs have bosses too. I mean you don’t like that attitude of your boss and you think the easiest route is to begin your own, what wrong step! I have learnt that “Anybody who brings income and goodwill is the Boss”.

Whoever keeps you awake, keeps you rethinking the product or requests service from you is your boss. So if it’s all about being your boss, don’t quit because for the venture capitalist, bank officer that gave the loan or donor organization who will invest in you, you have to answer to them. They are the Bosses.

2. I need more time

When I was in the bank, I thought I worked too much for the pay.

“I just need more time to do my thing. I will wake up late and close early on my own terms.” I said to myself.

Everyone thinks they need their time but an entrepreneur who wants to keep the company going does more work and has less time. With deadlines looming, I just have to ship results for the stakeholders. It does not matter if it’s a Saturday, Sunday or while I am waiting to catch another flight, I just have to open that laptop and send that mail. I keep a tight calendar, make few calls to family and friends who have accepted me as I am. Relationship? I just forget that someone is out there who wants to hear my voice. Work just takes the way ahead. Honestly, I don’t like work but what must be done must be done. Tiring? Please think about it before you quit. I am currently seeking help.

3. Nobody controls me

Now I feel you scream when your boss calls and demands deadline. If you feel he is demanding results, I will say keep calm because entrepreneurship demands more discipline than that. I see the entire workplace as an opportunity to learn and pick the pieces of value creation together. In fact, entrepreneurship demands more discipline that you ever think unless you want to burn your goodwill. Someone will still be on your neck for what you have committed to or you have been paid for. That person earlier referred to as your “BOSS” is in control. If you dont care, be ready to close shop

The joy of entrepreneurship is in creating value and that pushes one on and on. That’s why you should do it, not because it the easy road paved with gold but because it demands more and more but therein lies the happiness.