31. Pressing On

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Pix by @seuncr8vwox (my peperempe)

While trying to keep this tradition of writing a birthday note, I decided to search my name on Google to pull out my WordPress page and in the first list of results, I found a Wikipedia page in my name. The creator (who I am yet to identify) put in my spouse name, recognized that I have a kid and the only mistake made was that I was born in Ibadan. I was actually born in Osogbo, I corrected it. A thing like this, never planned for, keeps unboxing itself. It is life in motion, I am actually doing a catch-up.

Taking a look at last one year is to accept things are moving  fast. Things are happening fast and I am catching my breath. A year ago, I had a would-be mother-in-law and now she is no more.

A year ago, I was not married but now I have a kid who chuckles when I place a warm kiss on her. When I saw her head pop up in the labour room, I was shocked. Look at me, look at life. God actually gave me child, 31 years ago, my parents also felt this. I have seen the joy of holding a daughter, watching her smile in the morning after a warm bath, it is priceless. I have seen the joy of my mother listen to me take on these steps, also priceless.

Still unbelieving it’s a year I basked in my 30th birthday, organized a party and wrote 30 amazing pieces of my experience. It looks like yesterday, that you kept count of my pieces and that’s how life really looks, like yesterday. Till the calendars no longer turn for us, till the old passes away, till the young becomes the old and those once called the future (apologies to David Cameron) becomes the past.

I am happy and grateful again to God who is taking me a step a time. Through the years of impact, of fellowships and awards, of taking on the laptop and striking the “sent” button, of finding a soulmate, of Wuraola. Of being underwhelming,  being overburdened, being happy and sad. It is life with its complex weave and once I can feel my breath in this place, always thankful.

Most times I still can’t believe myself nor believe even the hype. Mostly embarrassed when people hold me firm and pour in adulation. They look up to me, that I inspire them and that comes with a burden. I had the rare chance to speak at The Platform and later saw people run stairs just to shake me or smile and point fingers “BudgIT”.

It has always been a long road and am i really there? Can we get all public revenues put truly be  in public how they have been spent? Can all Nigerians have access to such information, understand and ask questions for results? Can we get every single public kobo be efficiently spent? Those are the existential questions that I find my still underwhelming at. I know the other side, the politicians have their incentive to hog darkness to abound corruption that has shortchanged this country but how do we change that? How does every Nigerian that passes this space feel the hold of dignity. Am I feeling messianic already? Do I need to pause the applause? Where is the exit in all of these? What Nigeria would I have a chance to handover when this work is done? Same Nigeria still seeking structural adjustments after its launched Structural Adjustment Programme three decades ago?

I will take it a step at time. “The days are long, but the years are short.”. I press on.

 

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